'Did I really love her?' I was sure I did. I'd never felt this committed to anyone before. 'Did I love her enough to keep to a monogamous relationship if we were to marry?' On that one I wasn't sure, for right after we'd met again, there I was fucking all those fifteen-year olds.As the miles rolled by I realized I'd never had thoughts like these before. And the letter she'd sent me didn't leave room for any speculation other than she'd be in Wildwood for a one-week vacation and the second week would be spent with her parents. 'If only, ' I thought pulling away from a toll on the Parkway, and followed that incomplete thought by trying to formulize my desire for Megan.'Shit, ' I told myself, ' I want to spend more time with her. And not just because she's unattainable living in the convent. I daydreamed as I drove, and laughed aloud in the car, conjuring up other goals, like waking up in bed together.'Damn it! I wanted a real relationship with Megan, but her vocation made that. .. and probably an older one, based onthe level you're writing at."I just looked at her, wanting to tell her, but still not quite willing toshare."What are you afraid of?" How you'll think of me. I'm not some sick pervert, I didn't want this. I didn't choose this!" Okay." She paused for a long moment, before continuing, "It was anaccident, and you're a victim of circumstance. Right?"I considered her words while looking her in the eye, and then shook myhead in affirmation.She sighed. "I promise, I will not pass judgement on you for the thingsyou had no choice of." She told me as we looked each other in the eye.It took me a few moments to work up my courage, then: "Chris Richards."I lowered my head in shame.Katie's mom gasped and then covered her mouth. "That makes sense. Idon't know why I didn't think of that." She just stared at me for amoment before saying, "We need to call your family and let them know." NO!" I shouted.Katie's mom jumped. "She needs to know that you're okay.".
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